I've been mental blogging about this birthday for weeks (is that pathetic?) and now that I am blogging about it, I don't even know what to say.
How is my boy16 already? How is that even possible? How have I been in love with this boy--this boy who completely changed my live, this boy who made me a mom--for 16 years? How was it 16 years ago that I was on the couch holding this adorable bundle crying because someday he would go to college? Wasn't that last week? It is so crazy that that nightmare of him going to college is closer than that day 16 years ago. OH MY!
He is a great kid! I am so proud of him! He is thoughtful--he knows what I am thinking and feeling even when I try and blow it off. He knows me. He is a fantastic kid--young man, I guess. He is considerate and sympathetic and funny and brilliant and diligent and focused. He's amazing!
I really want to go on and on and on about how great he is. Why can't I put it into words? Why can't I explain this man to the world--I can write about anything and I am struggling with words about my son. What is my problem?
Sixteen years ago he was put into my arms and I was immediately in love. I guess I had been falling in love with the idea of him for nine months (maybe nine months and 20-something years), but I was head over heels in love as soon as I saw him. I loved him so much that I just cried all the time (yes, that was the hormones, but it was so real--I was so overwhelmed with how much I loved him). And that really hasn't gone away. I don't cry as much, but I am still so overwhelmed by my boy.
Hays, thanks for being my first love at first sight. Thanks for being responsible. Thanks for thinking of others before yourself (usually). Thanks for being aware of my feelings even (especially) when others are not. Thanks for being self-motivated so that I don't have to nag. Thanks for being a great brother (normally). Thanks for being trustworthy. Thanks for putting up with me when I'm annoying and prodding and weird and inappropriate. Thanks for making me laugh!
Happy Birthday, Buddy! I love you more than you can ever imagine. You're my boy and I could not be more thankful for you!