Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Rwanda: Day Twelve

Oh my, the anxiety I have just writing the number twelve for the "public."  I cannot spell that word right without spell check (when it matters) to save my life. I have the written out number 12 mental block and when other people are going to see my spelling, I never do it right.  Am I really getting my Master's and I can't even spell that word?  Yup.

Today was accounting again and it all began to click.  I am learning so much and figuring out so many things I need to be doing differently and I am so excited.  Accounting was good today!  And I'm looking forward to it tomorrow!  Those are some words/phrases I never imagined I'd write!

Hays joined me for half the day.  That was really fun!
My class really is the "KIVU Classroom" today.  That is the book we are working through--perfect.  And this is Lauren who is my BFF in my cohort and who I am so thankful to be getting to spend the day with each day here in Rwanda.
Tonight I've been trying to write my graduation speech. . . or at least just get some idea of where to go.  Last year I was listening to the speaker and she was wonderful!  I remember sitting there in total awe of how great her speech was thinking (I was literally thinking this), "I am so glad that I won't be the speaker next year because I could never do that!"  Seriously.  And here I am. . . the speaker. . . sort of freaking out--half about writing the speech and half about giving it.  I seriously thought I'd be the very last person in the class to ever get up and do that.  Jokes on me!

And then I've spent some time being so proud of myself.  I don't know, but being nominated/voted/whatever to be my cohort's speaker has given me this fun sense of pride in myself (the good kind of pride, not the bad kind).  I'm proud that they thought I would represent them well.  I'm floored that they (anyone) thought that about me.  Who am I that I would be the one nominated?  It is a nice reminder that others don't always see me the way I see myself.

I've also spent some time wishing I could have some special people here for my speech.  I've never done anything like this.  It's a big deal to me.  Andy should be here (oh my gosh, how nervous would I be then?) because I'd love for him to be a part of this surreal part of my life.  I'd love for my parents and his parents to be here.  I for sure wish my Gran'ma was here.  I wish my friend, Beth, was here.  I wish Luke was here because he got me into this mess in the first place.  I wish my brothers were here because they are SO GOOD at this kind of thing and I think they'd be proud of me and they'd be a great support system for me.  I'm so thankful my kids will be there.  I think it's neat that they'll get to see me "succeed" at something academic--something so out of the realm of the person I am in their lives on a day to day basis.

So, what do I speak about?  I have no idea.  I wish I could remember what made the one last year (Natalie's) so great.  I wish I had been to any other graduation.  I wish I had my Bible here (the one I write in, not my Kindle version that has zero notes in it).  I wish I had my Gran'ma's poetry journal here.  Those two things would REALLY help right now.  Maybe all of those people I listed above should bring those two items with them when they fly over (such wishful thinking).

Anyway, enough about that.  Pride and fretting and the number twelve written out all in one post. How crazy and random and vulnerable!

Tomorrow accounting is over and the kids and I are heading to a tea plantation!  That'll be fun!  Sweet dreams from Eastern Africa!


lori vicsek said...

Jamie Jo,
You are a remarkable woman. Your light has brightened the path for so many of us. God is using you to show us all hope. I am touched that God put you in a place in my life to help me find my way. I will be forever thankful for your friendship.
This passage from Theodore Roosevelt's Speech "The Man in the Arena reminds me so much of you and Andy's journey. I am so thankful that you threw your hat in the arena... Love you so very much
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, and comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat."

Janet Gregston said...

Jamie I am enjoying and living everything about you, your family, and your experience. Praying for your speech. You write so well and have so much to draw from within your life. Just share the gospel in a way that fits this Madter's program and people and where & who they will be. Many prayers & MUCH LOVE.