Friday, August 23, 2013

Dead Battery

We all know that when we see this on our iPhones it means you aren't getting your phone to do anything for a while. . .even if it is plugged it.  No music, no phone calls, nothing!

Why don't I have a screen that says that for me?!?!  This is what I feel like right now:
My batteries are dead, but I don't have a great graphic on my forehead to tell that to people and I don't have any way to just be DONE (bad grammar, but it gets my point across better) for a while.  On my phone, it doesn't matter how badly I need it to work or how many deadlines I have or how many calls I have to make. . . it is just DONE for a while and there is nothing I can do about it!

So often I feel like I just have to keep going.  I don't have a fail-safe way of getting recharged without just feeling lazy.  Take a nap.  Simple.  No!  I have guilt!  Why?  I don't know.  I feel like just crawling in bed to take a nap is lazy or bad use of my time or something, but really that is all I want to do right now.

I'm a tad overwhelmed.  Life.  I love my life.  I love my kids.  We are having a blast together!  This week has been the best ever with them in terms of a "normal" school week of just "normal" life.  We're really having a blast doing life together.  But it is busy with three different schools and two hours a day spent just sitting in car pool lines at those schools.  Then I have to add to that 6 a.m. volleyball practices and golf practices that last until whenever and that is more car time.  (And tap, jazz, mountain biking and guitar haven't even started yet.)  But that is normal.  That is what having five kids is.  And I really am fine with that stuff (except I'd love to figure out better school start and ending times between the three schools so that we aren't just sitting in three different carpool lines wasting the day away.)

But then I have to add to that great family stuff work and school and. . . yikes!  But I can handle all of that, and I've been handling it all fairly gracefully!!!

Then today happened. . . .

I was re-reminded that Tiki is not like the other four kids and a dear friend thoroughly and thoughtfully reminded me that not only can I not have the same expectations for Tiki, but I must fight for him (harder) outside of the house.  I must fight for him in the school.  I have to be "that" parent or no one else will fight for him.  He needs testing.  He has no comprehension (listening or reading) and it is affecting every area of his life.  And really, the school has done nothing. . .but mostly because I haven't been a strong enough advocate for him.

So today, I am feeling like that cartoon battery. . .not because I have too much to do, though, I don't think.  I think it is more about the person I am going to have to be for my child.  I'm going to have to be his advocate and I think that is going to cause me to have to become someone who would drive me nuts!  I'm going to have to ruffle some feathers because I am the only one who will work for my child's rights.  That thought exhausts me and I just want to take a nap.

I need wisdom in how to talk to the people at school.  I need wisdom to know how far to push for my child.  He needs testing.  And then he needs action to be taken as a result of that testing.  Schools are required to do that, but I know that it is a battle nonetheless.  I need to research my rights.  I need to research different tests so that I am aware of what each one is so that my child gets the right one.  I have a ton of work to do so that I can be the best advocate Tiki can have!

Overwhelmed. . . but at least I have a long-distance friend who has been down this same road and she is walking me through it.  I am SO THANKFUL for that. . .for her!

I've taken step 1: leave a message for the school counselor to call me back.  That wasn't so hard.  Baby steps!  Eeeeeks!!!

1 comment:

mentorman said...

Keep going! Praying from here.......