Friday, May 24, 2013

I Wonder . . . ?

I wonder. . . how many moms out there ever feel just completely overwhelmed?  How many moms feel ever like they are at their Witt's end?  How many moms walk from the dish washer to the laundry room and just think, "I need a vacation"?  How many moms just want to pull the covers up over their heads and go back to sleep?

Did my mom ever?  For some reason, I doubt it.  She is so all-together and calm and put together and on top of things.  That's my perception of her.  Did she ever crumple up in a ball on her bed and cry because she couldn't get her bra snapped?  (Yes, that happened to me today. . .the bra wasn't really what the tears were about, but it was the straw that broke this camel's back.)  I know she's a human and I would think that a human would have a moment or two like that, but I just can't imagine my mom ever doing that.  She's almost perfect.  (Do my kids think that about me?  NO!!)

I can't imagine many people doing that and yet I know that I'm not that crazy.  I know that we are all in the same boat.  We all are busy and juggling a zillion things and spinning a million plates and feeling overworked and under-appreciated. . . aren't we. . .or am I alone on my life boat like Pi?

I'm working on grad school today (well, I was until the crying episode) and I'm supposed to do this big community project.  Most of the people in my classes are actually working in third world countries and actually working in community development.  I'm not.  Like I wrote before, my family is my community right now.  And then my crying moment mixed with my dishes and my laundry and my emptying the trash got me thinking about another community I'm in:  motherhood!  I wonder if my community project could be about being a mom?!!?  I have to believe that I'm not the only one feeling those feelings I wrote about in the top paragraph, but I wonder if as we are all feeling those things every once in a while (or maybe more), if we are feeling so completely alone in those feelings?  I do!  How can I make us all feel like we're in this together?  We're in community?

Just thoughts.  Just ramblings.  Just procrastinating actually (I don't want to get back to reading about Economic Development in Developing Countries and I don't want to fold the clean clothes sitting in the dryer and I don't even want to walk into my twins' smelly room to vacuum and on and on.  I'm procrastinating but I'm really wondering. . . . .)

So. . .here I sit. . .wondering. . . and now "Eye of the Tiger" just came on Pandora and I cannot miss this opportunity to let this song motivate me back down to the kitchen!  I'm off (but still wondering).

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