Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Six Years Ago Today

Six years ago today was a gigantic milestone.  After thirteen months of paperwork and research and reading and finger prints and home studies and biographies, our dossier (adoption paperwork) made it to China and we were finally logged in.  Wow!  Log in dates are so important in Chinese adoption because it is officially your place in line. . .and on this day six years ago we got one: we got an LID!
I was so wide-eyed with adoption and orphan care and "the little red thread" that connects all of us according to a Chinese proverb.  I thought that the seven month projected wait would seem like eternity and I spent my waiting time reading Chinese adoption stories and writing in my journal to my daughter who I would be holding in my arms before Christmas (2007).

My journal is so fun to read from 2005 & 2006.  Of course it is red because everything Chinese adoption seemed to be red.  And the inside cover is plastered with quotes from Chinese proverbs quotes about adoption and Bible verses that captured my heart at that time.  Just from that inside cover, one could get a good idea about the state of my heart six long years ago.  When I re-read the words further in the pages I just smile so big.  I was so happy and so excited.  I so longed for my little girl from China that I couldn't stand it.  I remember not being able to sleep at night because I would just lie there thinking about her (a lot like what happened to me last night as a matter of fact). . . .  My little girl from China.
Wow!  Little did I know where the journey would lead me.  As something happened in China and the wait went from seven months to fourteen months, my heart shattered and God turned my eyes and my broken heart towards Rwanda and here came my beautiful firecracker, Gabby. . .who was home by Christmas 2007.  And then as the wait went from fourteen months to four years, the Lord brought us Tiki--an older boy adoption we would have never in a million years considered in our big picture had God not opened those doors for us.  It is amazing to me the way God took an eager heart open for adoption and crossed the continents and made a family put together like a patchwork quilt lovingly made with pieces of material from such unlikely places.  I am thankful for this journey and I am thankful for my family!

But, six years ago today. . . my milestone.  And, yes, we are still in line.  We're in line now for a little girl age 18-36 months with minor special needs.  Will we stay in this line?  I don't know.  Right now Andy feels like maybe our home is finished and that our quiver is full (just maybe, I've seen some wiggle room recently) and I still feel like that wide eyed girl waiting for the child in China who is already mine.  It is interesting that so close to this big mile stone day, I would get an email from our agency saying, "get ready!" the time is coming!  Wow!  After all of this wait and all of this time and two unbelievable children from Rwanda who I wouldn't trade for the world that the time is finally here for China.  "Here" meaning that it is time to get our paperwork up to date once again because within the next five or six months we could get our referral.  (I laugh typing that because again that time could stretch out for years at any minute, but that is the time frame we have been given today.)

So, will we become Braner Party of 8?  I don't know.  I hope so.  I can't stop thinking about her.  I really was up most of the night thinking about her and thinking about holding her and seeing her face.  So I don't know what God has in store for our family, but I am excited to see.  His plan is always so much bigger and more creative than my plan (thank goodness).  If you get a free minute today, feel free to take some time to pray for our family.  Please pray that we will make the right choice and that our family will be completed the way it should be.  And please pray for all of the 147 million orphans in the world today. . . that they would feel a special rush of love from somewhere unexplained in that moment.

"Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you."  James 1:27 NLV


Sarah W. said...

Praying for your family!! And your sweet Chinese girl. I was a kamper at K-Extreme years ago and have enjoyed following your blog, watching your family grow!

I love your heart for adoption, and I sometimes talk about your family as if I know you well....just because I love how God has built your family.

When I was married, my parents adopted a girl from China (she is now 11; they adopted her at 11). She is the absolute biggest blessing to our family. Knowing that, I am even more inclined to pray....as I know how amazing it would be for a sweet girl to be raised by such an amazing family as yours.

I will be praying for you!!

~ko said...

Praying!!!! What a journey this has been for y'all! Thank you for sharing all of this with us. The reality that our adoption from India could take much longer than projected leaves me with a lump in my throat, but your reminder that God is moving and guiding on his own timeframe felt like a reassuring hug to keep trusting Him in all of this! Your family is proof!

Edie said...

Hi Jamie, I'm Audra's mom the girl fromArkansas coming to ft Lewis. I think sheis really coming and definitely want to met you. Jack and I are in a hotel in Chicago waiting to fly in the morning to get our second little boy from China where Benjamin becomes our number 6. I'm sure if your heart is open there is a girl for you. I can't imagine waiting 6 years but look what God has done with your wait. We will pray for you as your family prays.