Monday, February 28, 2011
Saturday, February 26, 2011
We Love Fresh Pow Pow
Today was a great day at the mountain! It wasn't beautiful and sunny but the fresh powder was much needed and much appreciated! My dad flew in last night and we love being with him. Andy also flew home last night and it was nice to have our family back together again!
One Week From Today. . .
. . .we will be in Orlando. . .where the magic happens! I just got this great picture of another fun princess I am very excited to meet! Oh my! The surprises just keep coming! I cannot wait to relax on the Disney Dream! But I am equally as excited to meet Auora or maybe Belle or maybe even Cinderella! The excitement and the anticipation is killing me! I feel like a kid headed to Disney for my very first time!
Friday, February 25, 2011
Rats & My French Speaking Son
Yesterday was parent teacher conferences at the elementary school and I was very excited for them!
I knew Maggie would be doing well--I just wanted to make sure she wasn't being too silly in class. And thankfully, she is behaving and learning at a great pace. She has fallen in love with reading and that makes me and her teacher very happy!
I really wanted to talk to Dax's teacher about him getting bullied every day by this girl. Sounds crazy that a girl is beating my son up, but there is blood or bruises nearly every day. So, I brought it to the teacher's attention and hopefully it will be taken care of starting today. Academically, Dax is doing very well and the teacher is doing great things to keep him challenged and interested!
I knew that Tiki's teacher and I would have a lot to talk about. He is coming a long way academically, but still has a long way to go in order to catch up. He is pushing boundaries in class with behavior and his teacher and I have been on top of it. I just like having fifteen minutes with her to stay on the same page. I absolutely adore Tiki's teacher!
And that brings me to the title of this post. Tiki's teacher told me a very interesting story that I wanted to share. She is so well educated and so smart and she pays attention to Tiki and what is going on. Any other teacher probably would have stopped this event as it started and brushed it off as something crazy, but Tiki's teacher was smart enough to go with the story and it was very interesting what she learned!
One day the class was talking about mice and one little boy said how scared his mom was of a little mouse. A few minutes later, Tiki had some one on one time with his teacher and he started talking about the HUGE mice in Africa (rats). As he was talking about how big they are and how ugly they are and how long their wiskers are and how big their teeth are, he fell into French speaking. . .as the story got more traumatic for him, his English turned into French. (Thankfully, his teacher speaks French and she noticed it and began conversing with him in French. . .he had NO idea that this transition had happened!) Then he began to tell about how scary the rats were and how they would bite him and chew on the other kids. It was a very scary story for Tiki and his wonderful teacher took him through the whole thing in French! When the story was over, he was back to English speaking. WOW!
She told me that in traumatic situations that children often revert back to the language they spoke during that time. So interesting.
She also told me some things he said about the orphanage and the nuns. He told her that his mommy (me) thinks the nuns are very nice but when I would leave, they would be mean to him. I guess I shouldn't talk about how nice they are because that probably invalidates the truth that he knows and it may keep him from telling things to me because I already have my preconceived thoughts. I really need to keep that in mind as things about his past begin to slowly bubble to the surface!
So, that was parent teacher conferences yesterday. I am so thankful for my kids and for their progress in school! I am blessed!
I knew Maggie would be doing well--I just wanted to make sure she wasn't being too silly in class. And thankfully, she is behaving and learning at a great pace. She has fallen in love with reading and that makes me and her teacher very happy!
I really wanted to talk to Dax's teacher about him getting bullied every day by this girl. Sounds crazy that a girl is beating my son up, but there is blood or bruises nearly every day. So, I brought it to the teacher's attention and hopefully it will be taken care of starting today. Academically, Dax is doing very well and the teacher is doing great things to keep him challenged and interested!
I knew that Tiki's teacher and I would have a lot to talk about. He is coming a long way academically, but still has a long way to go in order to catch up. He is pushing boundaries in class with behavior and his teacher and I have been on top of it. I just like having fifteen minutes with her to stay on the same page. I absolutely adore Tiki's teacher!
And that brings me to the title of this post. Tiki's teacher told me a very interesting story that I wanted to share. She is so well educated and so smart and she pays attention to Tiki and what is going on. Any other teacher probably would have stopped this event as it started and brushed it off as something crazy, but Tiki's teacher was smart enough to go with the story and it was very interesting what she learned!
One day the class was talking about mice and one little boy said how scared his mom was of a little mouse. A few minutes later, Tiki had some one on one time with his teacher and he started talking about the HUGE mice in Africa (rats). As he was talking about how big they are and how ugly they are and how long their wiskers are and how big their teeth are, he fell into French speaking. . .as the story got more traumatic for him, his English turned into French. (Thankfully, his teacher speaks French and she noticed it and began conversing with him in French. . .he had NO idea that this transition had happened!) Then he began to tell about how scary the rats were and how they would bite him and chew on the other kids. It was a very scary story for Tiki and his wonderful teacher took him through the whole thing in French! When the story was over, he was back to English speaking. WOW!
She told me that in traumatic situations that children often revert back to the language they spoke during that time. So interesting.
She also told me some things he said about the orphanage and the nuns. He told her that his mommy (me) thinks the nuns are very nice but when I would leave, they would be mean to him. I guess I shouldn't talk about how nice they are because that probably invalidates the truth that he knows and it may keep him from telling things to me because I already have my preconceived thoughts. I really need to keep that in mind as things about his past begin to slowly bubble to the surface!
So, that was parent teacher conferences yesterday. I am so thankful for my kids and for their progress in school! I am blessed!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
New Header
You'll notice my new header! What's with the Walt Disney font you are asking? Well, the days until Disney countdown is so very on! In ten days Braner Party of 7 will be on an airplane (or two) headed to sunny Florida to meet GoGo and Pops and Brady and Jennafer for a fun week of Disney adventures! We get to cruise on the brand new Disney Dream for five days and we get to enjoy the parks of Walt Disney World for a few days! We are hoping to meet a very special princess, too! We absolutely cannot wait! We don't know what we're more excited about: the family time or the new boat or the sun or meeting our favorite princess or the rides? ALL OF IT!!! Ten days and super counting!
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Tweens & Money
Well, today we started a new "thing." I have found myself head to head with Hays recently about all of the new gear he "needs" for snowboarding and I get so frustrated that I have to say no because of finances and I get frustrated that my no's frustrate him. So, we came up with a plan and we are going to try it for a year and see if it works. We are hoping to teach Hays the value of hard work and extra jobs and the value of money and what things are actually important to him in terms of the "extras" he needs and wants in his life.
I sat down and made a chart of what it costs annually to raise Hays. . .everything. YIKES! And I showed it to him. Hays, it costs x amount for you to "live" each year. Then I "took out" all of the things that we could "cover" as parents such as food and medical and clothing and Rec Center pass and Purgatory pass and stuff. That left him with a rather large amount that covered the Snowboarding team and competitions and travel and his "extra" things such as a new board and a new coat and stuff.
Once I got that amount, I divided it by Snowboarding team expenses and true extras. After more division (and trying to make a long story shorter), we came up with an amount to pay him per chore per day that would cover strictly Snowboarding. Then we came up with extra bonus chores and other bonuses that could cover his other extras IF he did them.
So, with diligence and planning, he should be able to afford all he needs and wants but he is going to have to make some good choices. The savings are going to have to start this Spring for next year. He is going to have to remember to save for his car too (three years isn't that far away) and he is going to have to make choices about things he wants.
I'm not sure how well I actually described this, but we explained it to Hays and he is very excited! I am very excited to have him thinking ahead about expenses and I am very excited that I won't be the bad guy when he cannot afford something. I am also thrilled that he is excited about chores (there is even a "not asking" bonus for when he does his chores without me begging him).
We are going to try it for a year. Stay tuned. . . .
I sat down and made a chart of what it costs annually to raise Hays. . .everything. YIKES! And I showed it to him. Hays, it costs x amount for you to "live" each year. Then I "took out" all of the things that we could "cover" as parents such as food and medical and clothing and Rec Center pass and Purgatory pass and stuff. That left him with a rather large amount that covered the Snowboarding team and competitions and travel and his "extra" things such as a new board and a new coat and stuff.
Once I got that amount, I divided it by Snowboarding team expenses and true extras. After more division (and trying to make a long story shorter), we came up with an amount to pay him per chore per day that would cover strictly Snowboarding. Then we came up with extra bonus chores and other bonuses that could cover his other extras IF he did them.
So, with diligence and planning, he should be able to afford all he needs and wants but he is going to have to make some good choices. The savings are going to have to start this Spring for next year. He is going to have to remember to save for his car too (three years isn't that far away) and he is going to have to make choices about things he wants.
I'm not sure how well I actually described this, but we explained it to Hays and he is very excited! I am very excited to have him thinking ahead about expenses and I am very excited that I won't be the bad guy when he cannot afford something. I am also thrilled that he is excited about chores (there is even a "not asking" bonus for when he does his chores without me begging him).
We are going to try it for a year. Stay tuned. . . .
Monday, February 21, 2011
A++ From Eight Children
Okay, so I must share this recipe with you all immediately. I just fed eight children ages three to twelve and I got eight A++ on this meal. I must warn you, when you read the ingredients, you may throw up in your mouth a little bit. It sounds absolutely horrendous, but eight A++'s do not lie!!!
POPPY TURKEY
2 pounds ground turkey
1/2 cup chopped green pepper
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup chopped onion
1 15-ounce can tomato sauce
1 cup low-fat cottage cheese
1 tablespoon poppy seed
1 cup plain low-fat yogurt
1 8-ounce package light cream cheese
1/4 teaspoon pepper
8 ounces linguini
1/4 cup grated Parmesean cheese
(Can you see already why it sounds like the worst meal ever?)
Saute the turkey with green pepper, salt, and onion in a large skillet on medium heat until the turkey is no longer pink. Add tomato sauce and set aside. Combine the remaining ingredients in a medium bowl, except linguini and Parmesan cheese. Cook linguini according to package.
Preheat oven to 350.
Drain pasta and mix with cheese mixture in a medium bowl. Spread the linguini and cheese on the bottom of a greased 13X9 dish. Top with the meat mixture and sprinkle with Parmesan cheese. Bake for 30 minutes or until hot and bubbly. Makes 10 servings. . .AND EIGHT A++'s!!!!
POPPY TURKEY
2 pounds ground turkey
1/2 cup chopped green pepper
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup chopped onion
1 15-ounce can tomato sauce
1 cup low-fat cottage cheese
1 tablespoon poppy seed
1 cup plain low-fat yogurt
1 8-ounce package light cream cheese
1/4 teaspoon pepper
8 ounces linguini
1/4 cup grated Parmesean cheese
(Can you see already why it sounds like the worst meal ever?)
Saute the turkey with green pepper, salt, and onion in a large skillet on medium heat until the turkey is no longer pink. Add tomato sauce and set aside. Combine the remaining ingredients in a medium bowl, except linguini and Parmesan cheese. Cook linguini according to package.
Preheat oven to 350.
Drain pasta and mix with cheese mixture in a medium bowl. Spread the linguini and cheese on the bottom of a greased 13X9 dish. Top with the meat mixture and sprinkle with Parmesan cheese. Bake for 30 minutes or until hot and bubbly. Makes 10 servings. . .AND EIGHT A++'s!!!!
My Little Corner Of The World
The world is a big place and in the huge scheme of the world, I'm nothing but a minute (not even that, I suppose), but as you magnify in to my little part of the world I become more than just a minute. I am a wife and a mom and a daughter and a granddaughter and a friend. I mean different things to different people and as you, my readers, know, I'm figuring out what I mean to myself.
So, in this great big world, I have an itsy bitsy space. In my crazy and chaotic life I have a little corner. And here is my little corner of the world. My side of the bed and my night stand. I'm all ready for spring (even though I am wishing for a couple more feet of snow) and my house shows the spring.
But if you look even closer, it is precious "gifts" like the ones you see that make my little corner of the world so special! A picture Dax colored me the other evening when he knew something just wasn't clicking right for mommy and my Valentine's Day letter from Andy even though he doesn't believe in Valentine's Day. There is my little wooden China girl that I bought in 2005 when I started the adoption process and began to wait for my baby from China.
And out of the close up but in the big picture there hangs a little red hand-made heart (again from Dax because he is truly my romantic) that I get to see every single day and really know that I am loved.
I love my little corner and when I walked in my room today to grab a sweater, it caught my eye and I wanted to share it with you!
So, in this great big world, I have an itsy bitsy space. In my crazy and chaotic life I have a little corner. And here is my little corner of the world. My side of the bed and my night stand. I'm all ready for spring (even though I am wishing for a couple more feet of snow) and my house shows the spring.
But if you look even closer, it is precious "gifts" like the ones you see that make my little corner of the world so special! A picture Dax colored me the other evening when he knew something just wasn't clicking right for mommy and my Valentine's Day letter from Andy even though he doesn't believe in Valentine's Day. There is my little wooden China girl that I bought in 2005 when I started the adoption process and began to wait for my baby from China.
And out of the close up but in the big picture there hangs a little red hand-made heart (again from Dax because he is truly my romantic) that I get to see every single day and really know that I am loved.
I love my little corner and when I walked in my room today to grab a sweater, it caught my eye and I wanted to share it with you!
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Becoming Girls Who. . .
Maggie is involved in this neat little group (a not-Bible-Bible-study-type-of-a-group) called "Becoming Girls Who. . ." It is really a neat idea that a lady in Durango wrote. Each month they study a different positive trait such as compassion, friendship, talent, courage and so on. I really appreciate Erin, the mom who hosts the group bimonthly for Maggie's friends. I love it that Maggie gets to spend time with her girlfriends trying to become a better person!
Last month was about courage and this month was about talent, so last night they put on a talent show. I was pleasantly surprised! LOTS of Justin Bieber dances and lip syncs and songs and so on! Maggie read a Robert Frost poem. One little girl ended the night with a "Sound of Music" medley and it was AMAZING!
Below are my pictures. . .they are terrible. I have this great camera and this amazing lens and I don't have the flash to support my lens indoors. Someday I'll fix that!
My favorite part of the evening was when one girl had SERIOUS stage fright and ultimately she got up to sing (Justin Bieber) and the rest of the group got up with her and held her hands. Afterwards it was a big group hug. It was EXACTLY what the evening was about!
Last month was about courage and this month was about talent, so last night they put on a talent show. I was pleasantly surprised! LOTS of Justin Bieber dances and lip syncs and songs and so on! Maggie read a Robert Frost poem. One little girl ended the night with a "Sound of Music" medley and it was AMAZING!
Below are my pictures. . .they are terrible. I have this great camera and this amazing lens and I don't have the flash to support my lens indoors. Someday I'll fix that!
My favorite part of the evening was when one girl had SERIOUS stage fright and ultimately she got up to sing (Justin Bieber) and the rest of the group got up with her and held her hands. Afterwards it was a big group hug. It was EXACTLY what the evening was about!
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Chicken Packets
Note: this recipe does NOT work if you make it the day of! It works so much better if you have only thawed it for a few hours, or if you cook it the day of, make sure the mixture is not hot and runny before you add it to the rolls. FYI.
2 cups cooked chicken chopped
1 3-ounce package cream cheese
1 tablespoon chopped chives
2 tablespoons milk
salt to taste
1/2 cup crushed, seasoned crouton crumbs
2 8-ounce packages refrigerated crescent rolls
1/2 stick margarine, melted
Combine chicken, cream cheese, chives, milk and salt. Put in a ziploc bag and freeze until ready to use. To prepare for serving, thaw chicken mixtures. Preheat oven to 350. Unroll crescent rolls and pinch together the triangle halves to make a rectangle. . .you will have 4 rectangles instead of 8 triangles. Be sure and pinch the seams together well so nothing can seep out.
Melt butter.
Place chicken mixture into center of rectangle and then roll up making sure to pinch all openings so that nothing comes out. Paint roll with butter then cover with bread crumbs.
Bake for 20 minutes. Yummy!
2 cups cooked chicken chopped
1 3-ounce package cream cheese
1 tablespoon chopped chives
2 tablespoons milk
salt to taste
1/2 cup crushed, seasoned crouton crumbs
2 8-ounce packages refrigerated crescent rolls
1/2 stick margarine, melted
Combine chicken, cream cheese, chives, milk and salt. Put in a ziploc bag and freeze until ready to use. To prepare for serving, thaw chicken mixtures. Preheat oven to 350. Unroll crescent rolls and pinch together the triangle halves to make a rectangle. . .you will have 4 rectangles instead of 8 triangles. Be sure and pinch the seams together well so nothing can seep out.
Melt butter.
Place chicken mixture into center of rectangle and then roll up making sure to pinch all openings so that nothing comes out. Paint roll with butter then cover with bread crumbs.
Bake for 20 minutes. Yummy!
Friday, February 18, 2011
Hays Snowboarding
One of the team dads took a few pictures of Hays during practice and I wanted to share them!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Chili Verde
8 ounces dry pinto beans (I use 2 cans of don't-have-to-soak-overnight beans)
1 pound boneless, skinless chicken breasts (I double it)
1 4-ounce can chopped green chilies
1 teaspoon ground cumin
3/4 teaspoon dried oregano leaves
1/8 teaspoon ground cloves
1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper
3 cups chicken broth (I use 4)
1 teaspoon minced garlic
1 teaspoon salt
2/3 cup finely chopped onion
I also add 2 cans of black beans
If you are using the old fashion soaking beans, then soak them over night after you rinse them. Drain them and put into a crock pot. Cook the chicken and then cube it and add to crock pot. Add everything else to the crock pot and enjoy dinner tonight!
It calls to serve the chili served on top of warmed corn tortillas with cheese and salsa on top. I've never tried it that way. I just eat it as soup. Then I have used the left overs for burritos (drained). It is SO yummy!
1 pound boneless, skinless chicken breasts (I double it)
1 4-ounce can chopped green chilies
1 teaspoon ground cumin
3/4 teaspoon dried oregano leaves
1/8 teaspoon ground cloves
1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper
3 cups chicken broth (I use 4)
1 teaspoon minced garlic
1 teaspoon salt
2/3 cup finely chopped onion
I also add 2 cans of black beans
If you are using the old fashion soaking beans, then soak them over night after you rinse them. Drain them and put into a crock pot. Cook the chicken and then cube it and add to crock pot. Add everything else to the crock pot and enjoy dinner tonight!
It calls to serve the chili served on top of warmed corn tortillas with cheese and salsa on top. I've never tried it that way. I just eat it as soup. Then I have used the left overs for burritos (drained). It is SO yummy!
Recipes
I keep getting requests from you all for recipes. I'll be happy to dish some out; however, please know that "Once A Month Cooking" is the cook book I use and it is great for more reasons than just the recipes! It has shopping lists and everything and the part that makes cooking for the month a budget-friendly thing to do is the fact that when she asks you to use onions or peppers or whatever, you aren't wasting because while you may only use half an onion for one recipe, you'll use the other half fifteen minutes later for another. I am willing to share our favorite recipes, but please go buy the book if you are going on the adventure of cooking for the month!!!
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Cooking. . .Again!
I think I might be crazy, but I think I am going to do my cooking for the month this afternoon. I haven't even gone grocery shopping yet. I may be hating myself in about five hours. Oh well. I have been getting very lonely in the afternoon and evenings with Andy gone, so I figured this would for sure take my mind off of it!
So, I'm thinking I need to do a quick summary of how the last thirteen meals went for my family. We rated them all so I will know what to cook and, more importantly, what NOT to cook next time.
French Bread Pizza A (I have actually made it again since cooking day)
Chili Verde A
Wild Rice Chicken F
Chicken Packets A
Poulet de France B-
Chicken Broccoli A-
Baked Eggs F
Linguine a la Anne B+
Calzones A (I have made these again already, too)
Mexican Stroganoff B- (I hated it, but surprisingly, the kids liked it)
Balkan Meatballs we haven't eaten them yet
Marinated Flank Steak A
Chili Hamburgers B
I would say that overall, those thirteen meals were a surprising hit! To get a family of seven to eat 100% of the meals you cook and like 85% is a success in my book!
So, this afternoon I will be cooking the following meals to tide us over until Spring Break:
Herbed Chicken
Biscuit Beef Bake
French Stuffed Potatoes
Chicken Nuggets
Playoff Burgers
Farmer's Casserole
Poppy Turkey
Denise's Black Beans
Spicy Garlic Chicken Pizza
London Broil
Mexican Chicken Lasagna
Sopa de Maiz
Wish me luck! Yikes!
So, I'm thinking I need to do a quick summary of how the last thirteen meals went for my family. We rated them all so I will know what to cook and, more importantly, what NOT to cook next time.
French Bread Pizza A (I have actually made it again since cooking day)
Chili Verde A
Wild Rice Chicken F
Chicken Packets A
Poulet de France B-
Chicken Broccoli A-
Baked Eggs F
Linguine a la Anne B+
Calzones A (I have made these again already, too)
Mexican Stroganoff B- (I hated it, but surprisingly, the kids liked it)
Balkan Meatballs we haven't eaten them yet
Marinated Flank Steak A
Chili Hamburgers B
I would say that overall, those thirteen meals were a surprising hit! To get a family of seven to eat 100% of the meals you cook and like 85% is a success in my book!
So, this afternoon I will be cooking the following meals to tide us over until Spring Break:
Herbed Chicken
Biscuit Beef Bake
French Stuffed Potatoes
Chicken Nuggets
Playoff Burgers
Farmer's Casserole
Poppy Turkey
Denise's Black Beans
Spicy Garlic Chicken Pizza
London Broil
Mexican Chicken Lasagna
Sopa de Maiz
Wish me luck! Yikes!
Monday, February 14, 2011
Gabby's Goggles
Gabby has been walking around wearing these goggles for two days. She's just so cute, I wanted to share a picture with you all!
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Yesterday & Today
Yesterday I got to be the parent who stayed at the mountain until Hays was finished with practice at 4:00. Usually I take the tired ones home and Andy stays with the fun ones. But yesterday, I stayed with Dax and he was VERY disappointed. He had to wait on me and do easy runs and rest a lot. He put his vote in for Daddy to be the late person from today forward. The picture is a picture of him waiting on me. Poor guy has to tolerate his mother and her pathetic snowboarding skills. Not to mention, I was exhausted! I seriously could hardly push the gas pedal in my car on the way home!
Needless to say, Dax and Andy are at the mountain today while Hays is training.
Maggie and Tiki and Gabby and I are home cleaning like crazy! We are in the middle of what looks like will be about fourteen loads of laundry. So far we have five bags full of trash and nine bags full of "give aways" and that is just from the playroom and the girls' room. (I don't have the courage to conquer the boys room yet.)
Speaking of courage, my big job for the day (as if fourteen loads of laundry isn't daunting enough) will be to vacuum. I hate to vacuum! And this house has one of those built in ones where you lug this huge hose all over with you. I still can not figure out why that is better. I hate it! So, as soon as I finish blog-procrastinating, I will be moving furniture and hauling around miles of vacuum hose. Yipee!
Friday, February 11, 2011
Family Date Night (in 3D)
We had a SUPER night tonight! The new Justin Bieber movie has been on our calendar for months and the countdown has been on! Today was the day! We bought tickets several days in advance and counted the hours when we got up this morning. (That may sound pathetic, but JB is one of the only things that all ages in our big family really love together.)
So, we headed to the movie after school this afternoon and it really was great! The movie was super! It was so fun to see the "behind the scenes" of the "making" of Justin Bieber. I would love to meet his mom and his grandparents. They seem wonderful! Before the movie was even over, Dax leaned over and asked, "Mom, can we buy this movie when it comes out on DVD?" It was a hit! (And to be perfectly honest, I think I sang along the ENTIRE movie!)
Then we headed to East by Southwest for sushi. I love it that my family loves sushi! (Lesley, we REALLY missed you!) I loved our night together!
***************
Today was also Valentine's Day parties (plural). Gabby LOVED making the rounds and eating all of the different food (junk food)!
Today was a ten. Maybe an eleven! I love my family!
Random Pics
Here are a couple of random pictures that I just found on my camera from last week. . .Tiki's school birthday party and Hays and Gabby on the mountain!
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Cooking Flop
I just had my first (I think) cooking flop turned genius! I'm shocked! I was trying to make little personal-sized fruit pizzas for the kids' Valentine's day parties at school. I put the cookie dough into cupcake pans instead of on a cookie sheet because I was wanting perfectly little round and flat cookies.
So, when the oven timer went off the first time, I opened the oven and this is the disaster I saw! Big bloated cupcake cookies. Bummer! Well, they obviously needed more time to cook since they were still raw after ten minutes, so I closed the oven door and reset the timer.
When it "dinged" the next time, this is what I had instead. . .little sugar cookie bowls! I couldn't have made sugar cookie bowls if my life depended on it! What in the world!?!?!?
So, I switched my thinking a little bit and filled each bowl with cheesecake filling and then let Gabby add the fruit decorations on top! I'm so excited about my sugar cookie cheesecake fruit bowls! I'm sure that many people could have done this on purpose, but there is no way in the world that I could have! I think it is way better than fruit pizza!!!
And the biggest bonus about the whole thing is Gabby's artwork! All I did was ask her to put the fruit on top. . .no other instructions. And look what she did on EVERY single one. . .a strawberry in the middle with blueberries in a circle around! I love it! She did WAY better than I would have ever taken time to do! Thanks, Gab!
So, when the oven timer went off the first time, I opened the oven and this is the disaster I saw! Big bloated cupcake cookies. Bummer! Well, they obviously needed more time to cook since they were still raw after ten minutes, so I closed the oven door and reset the timer.
When it "dinged" the next time, this is what I had instead. . .little sugar cookie bowls! I couldn't have made sugar cookie bowls if my life depended on it! What in the world!?!?!?
So, I switched my thinking a little bit and filled each bowl with cheesecake filling and then let Gabby add the fruit decorations on top! I'm so excited about my sugar cookie cheesecake fruit bowls! I'm sure that many people could have done this on purpose, but there is no way in the world that I could have! I think it is way better than fruit pizza!!!
And the biggest bonus about the whole thing is Gabby's artwork! All I did was ask her to put the fruit on top. . .no other instructions. And look what she did on EVERY single one. . .a strawberry in the middle with blueberries in a circle around! I love it! She did WAY better than I would have ever taken time to do! Thanks, Gab!
Love My Family
Well, it is the Valentine's season. . .heck, my house has been decorated for the LOVE holiday since the Christmas tree came down. Tomorrow I have three Valentine's parties at the elementary school and today is Valentine's baking day (last night was Valentine making night). So, I'm kind of in the red and pink mood. So, I wanted to tell you all what I love about each person in my family.
Andy. . .he is my very best friend, he knows all of my yucky and still loves me. He makes me laugh and he thinks I'm funny. He works so hard and so diligently and he is always trying to learn new things. He wants to be a better person and better dad and better husband and I can really tell when he is trying. He is steady and patient (except with "dumb" drivers). What I see is what I get with Andy and I don't have to guess.
Hays. . .he is sweet and thoughtful and compassionate. His mind is so intricate. He loves to figure things out in the most "engineer" type of way, but he is so creative and artistic and I am constantly amazed by the fact that both sides of his brain are always so engaged. He is a good friend, even to strangers and the "friendless" and he is a great big brother.
Maggie. . .she is so unique. It is so funny that I have such strong feelings and emotions for her but I have the hardest time describing her. There is no one else in this world like her! She is funny and dingy and serious and considerate. She is comforting and compassionate. She is independent and outgoing. She is nurturing and maternal and selfless. I think the best part is how dear she has become to me in the last year. I love being her friend.
Tiki. . .he is the happiest person I have ever met. He finds the good in everything. He is friends with everyone. He is sweet and outgoing and joyful. He is smart and his laugh is the best laugh in the world. He is trusting and has freely given me his heart when he really has no reason to trust anyone with that due to the fact that no one has been a consistent figure in his life.
Dax. . .he is my little love. He is snugly and funny and loving. He works me over all the time and he knows just how to do it. His big dimples are pretty much my undoing and he using them to his advantage. He is hysterical! He is sweet and vulnerable one minute and then big and tough another. He is aware of others and he pays attention to what is going on around him. He loves his mom!
Gabby. . .she is a hoot. She is strong and self-assured and sweet and funny and loving and hard headed and loves to help. She is amazingly aware of how other people give and receive love and she is so capable of giving her love to people in their receiving way and receiving love from others in the way that they give it. That shocks me the most about her because she is so young, but already has that HUGE thing figured out. She is my baby but she is so independent that she keeps me on my toes!
So there you have it. Some of the love in my heart for my husband and kids. I am so blessed in so many ways and I am so thankful that these six people are in my life (and in my home). They all make me a better person and have turned my world upside down!
I love you, Andy, my love!
I love you, Hays, my first love at first sight!
I love you, Maggie, the one who flipped me upside down and inside out!
I love you, Tiki, the one who trusts without reason!
I love you, Dax, my little dimple-headed sweat muffin!
I love you, Gabby, my independent whirlwind!
Andy. . .he is my very best friend, he knows all of my yucky and still loves me. He makes me laugh and he thinks I'm funny. He works so hard and so diligently and he is always trying to learn new things. He wants to be a better person and better dad and better husband and I can really tell when he is trying. He is steady and patient (except with "dumb" drivers). What I see is what I get with Andy and I don't have to guess.
Hays. . .he is sweet and thoughtful and compassionate. His mind is so intricate. He loves to figure things out in the most "engineer" type of way, but he is so creative and artistic and I am constantly amazed by the fact that both sides of his brain are always so engaged. He is a good friend, even to strangers and the "friendless" and he is a great big brother.
Maggie. . .she is so unique. It is so funny that I have such strong feelings and emotions for her but I have the hardest time describing her. There is no one else in this world like her! She is funny and dingy and serious and considerate. She is comforting and compassionate. She is independent and outgoing. She is nurturing and maternal and selfless. I think the best part is how dear she has become to me in the last year. I love being her friend.
Tiki. . .he is the happiest person I have ever met. He finds the good in everything. He is friends with everyone. He is sweet and outgoing and joyful. He is smart and his laugh is the best laugh in the world. He is trusting and has freely given me his heart when he really has no reason to trust anyone with that due to the fact that no one has been a consistent figure in his life.
Dax. . .he is my little love. He is snugly and funny and loving. He works me over all the time and he knows just how to do it. His big dimples are pretty much my undoing and he using them to his advantage. He is hysterical! He is sweet and vulnerable one minute and then big and tough another. He is aware of others and he pays attention to what is going on around him. He loves his mom!
Gabby. . .she is a hoot. She is strong and self-assured and sweet and funny and loving and hard headed and loves to help. She is amazingly aware of how other people give and receive love and she is so capable of giving her love to people in their receiving way and receiving love from others in the way that they give it. That shocks me the most about her because she is so young, but already has that HUGE thing figured out. She is my baby but she is so independent that she keeps me on my toes!
So there you have it. Some of the love in my heart for my husband and kids. I am so blessed in so many ways and I am so thankful that these six people are in my life (and in my home). They all make me a better person and have turned my world upside down!
I love you, Andy, my love!
I love you, Hays, my first love at first sight!
I love you, Maggie, the one who flipped me upside down and inside out!
I love you, Tiki, the one who trusts without reason!
I love you, Dax, my little dimple-headed sweat muffin!
I love you, Gabby, my independent whirlwind!
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Counting to 20
Okay, you blog readers. If you are a language or older child adoption or whatever expert, I need help and advice. When I met Tiki, he could not speak any English EXCEPT he could say "Spider Man" and he could count to twenty in ENGLISH. Now that Tiki is totally fluent in English he can hardly make it to ten and cannot get past twelve.
He's a smart kid. He just learned an entirely different language in less than a year and he is learning to read. But this counting thing is frustrating me. I realize that I need PATIENCE!!! I am VERY AWARE of that. But is this normal? Any advice (besides the patience piece)?
Easy & Yummy
French Bread Pizza:
One loaf of French bread (from the bakery section of your grocery store)
Spaghetti sauce
Pizza cheese
Pepperoni
Slice the French bread in half lengthwise and spread both halves with spaghetti sauce. Sprinkle with cheese (the more the merrier) and then add pepperoni. Broil about 6 minuets until cheese is melted. Easy and yummy pizza that YOU MADE in less than 10 total minutes!
One loaf of French bread (from the bakery section of your grocery store)
Spaghetti sauce
Pizza cheese
Pepperoni
Slice the French bread in half lengthwise and spread both halves with spaghetti sauce. Sprinkle with cheese (the more the merrier) and then add pepperoni. Broil about 6 minuets until cheese is melted. Easy and yummy pizza that YOU MADE in less than 10 total minutes!
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Who Am I?
So, today I was challenged to figure out who I actually am. Andy and I were sitting in our counseling session (I know, hard to believe that we are not perfect like Adam and Eve pre-apple, but we aren't) and the counselor was allowing me to reveal (nice way to put it) how I am such a people-pleaser and how afraid I am of not being "good enough" and so forth and so on. So with those revelations, he (the counselor) pointed out that no one knows the real me. . .and that I probably don't even know the real me. I sat on that for a second and realized that that truly is true. Who the heck am I?
When I take away the need to keep everyone happy and when I take away my constant fear of not being good enough (what does that even mean) for anyone (even myself?) it leaves me with what? What do I like to do. . .really? What would my day look like if I lived for me (in the healthy way, not in the selfish-me-first-pleasure-seeker way)? What is my real personality like? Who am I really?
Whenever I try to answer one of those questions, I can always dissect my answers into the fact that I am being "that" thing in order to keep someone else happy or in order for someone else to like me. For example: what do I like to do? I really enjoyed our biking trip to Moab, but I liked it because it made the family happy and because I felt like Andy was proud of me for being a mountain biker. Did I really like biking just for me? Not really. But I did like it for the reasons listed above. So, in the search for "real me," do I like to mountain bike with the family in Moab or not? Hummmmm. . . . . ? Or, what would my ideal day look like? I originally answered that question with the thought that I wouldn't get out of bed and I would watch the dumb TV shows I like all day long. I actually don't think that would be my ideal day every day and I would probably get bored after about an hour. . .and I would hate not helping my kids get ready for school in the morning and I would feel lazy and pathetic and. . . . .
I asked my brother today who he thinks I really am verses the me I have portrayed or become or conned myself into being. After I threw a couple of "ideas" out there, he concluded that I am really mean. (One of the "things" I threw out there was mean and off the cuff and something I wouldn't say if just anyone was listening, but I don't truly believe that I am mean. . .at least not all the time.)
I told the counselor that I love to serve Andy. He responded that he thought it was because of my fear or my people pleasing. I'm trying to think about that. On one hand, yes, that is most likely true. But on the other hand, I really believe that I like to serve Andy. But how do I know if that is the real me or the me I have become due to my "issues"?
And then as I am trying to figure out who I "really" am, I am wondering if it is good to be who we "really" are. If we all acted like we "really" are, this world would be full of selfish people. How to you be true to yourself, but still exist in a world where you should think of others needs instead of your own? I believe that you should make choices with others in mind, but does that mean I am not being who I truly am?
Weird? Deep? Nonsense? Confusing? Should have kept it to myself? I don't know. I have also been accused in the last week or so (by the same two people mentioned above, my brother and my counselor) that my blogs are always so happy and so positive, so I thought I'd throw this one "out there." Here's to being real. Here's to "who am I?" Here's to living for myself without being selfish or self-focused or self-centered. Here's to being comfortable in my own skin and realizing that I don't have to please everyone all the time. Here's to believing that those who love me and who I love will not run when things aren't always rosy. Here's to me. . .even though I honestly have no (or little) idea who "me" actually is right now.
Please don't ridicule me and please don't pump me up with advice or encouragement or slander me or preach to me or whatever. I am just putting my thoughts out there for me. I feel like in the times that I am really honest on my blog, I am not the only one feeling this way and sometimes my weirdness will make someone else feel a little less weird. I know I am not the only person feeling this way!! I know I am not the only people pleaser! I know I am not the only person living in fear. So there you have it. A glimpse into the mystery of who the real me is.
Darren, my counselor, said, "Will the real Jamie Jo please stand up" and that made me laugh because as some of you know, I was on "To Tell The Truth" many years ago and I lost! (On "To Tell The Truth" they say, "will the real ___________ please stand up". . .that is why it made me laugh.) So, I am trying to discover the "REAL" Jamie Jo so that I can stand up and LIVE my life to the fullest!
When I take away the need to keep everyone happy and when I take away my constant fear of not being good enough (what does that even mean) for anyone (even myself?) it leaves me with what? What do I like to do. . .really? What would my day look like if I lived for me (in the healthy way, not in the selfish-me-first-pleasure-seeker way)? What is my real personality like? Who am I really?
Whenever I try to answer one of those questions, I can always dissect my answers into the fact that I am being "that" thing in order to keep someone else happy or in order for someone else to like me. For example: what do I like to do? I really enjoyed our biking trip to Moab, but I liked it because it made the family happy and because I felt like Andy was proud of me for being a mountain biker. Did I really like biking just for me? Not really. But I did like it for the reasons listed above. So, in the search for "real me," do I like to mountain bike with the family in Moab or not? Hummmmm. . . . . ? Or, what would my ideal day look like? I originally answered that question with the thought that I wouldn't get out of bed and I would watch the dumb TV shows I like all day long. I actually don't think that would be my ideal day every day and I would probably get bored after about an hour. . .and I would hate not helping my kids get ready for school in the morning and I would feel lazy and pathetic and. . . . .
I asked my brother today who he thinks I really am verses the me I have portrayed or become or conned myself into being. After I threw a couple of "ideas" out there, he concluded that I am really mean. (One of the "things" I threw out there was mean and off the cuff and something I wouldn't say if just anyone was listening, but I don't truly believe that I am mean. . .at least not all the time.)
I told the counselor that I love to serve Andy. He responded that he thought it was because of my fear or my people pleasing. I'm trying to think about that. On one hand, yes, that is most likely true. But on the other hand, I really believe that I like to serve Andy. But how do I know if that is the real me or the me I have become due to my "issues"?
And then as I am trying to figure out who I "really" am, I am wondering if it is good to be who we "really" are. If we all acted like we "really" are, this world would be full of selfish people. How to you be true to yourself, but still exist in a world where you should think of others needs instead of your own? I believe that you should make choices with others in mind, but does that mean I am not being who I truly am?
Weird? Deep? Nonsense? Confusing? Should have kept it to myself? I don't know. I have also been accused in the last week or so (by the same two people mentioned above, my brother and my counselor) that my blogs are always so happy and so positive, so I thought I'd throw this one "out there." Here's to being real. Here's to "who am I?" Here's to living for myself without being selfish or self-focused or self-centered. Here's to being comfortable in my own skin and realizing that I don't have to please everyone all the time. Here's to believing that those who love me and who I love will not run when things aren't always rosy. Here's to me. . .even though I honestly have no (or little) idea who "me" actually is right now.
Please don't ridicule me and please don't pump me up with advice or encouragement or slander me or preach to me or whatever. I am just putting my thoughts out there for me. I feel like in the times that I am really honest on my blog, I am not the only one feeling this way and sometimes my weirdness will make someone else feel a little less weird. I know I am not the only person feeling this way!! I know I am not the only people pleaser! I know I am not the only person living in fear. So there you have it. A glimpse into the mystery of who the real me is.
Darren, my counselor, said, "Will the real Jamie Jo please stand up" and that made me laugh because as some of you know, I was on "To Tell The Truth" many years ago and I lost! (On "To Tell The Truth" they say, "will the real ___________ please stand up". . .that is why it made me laugh.) So, I am trying to discover the "REAL" Jamie Jo so that I can stand up and LIVE my life to the fullest!
Bieber Fever
Well, the Braner Family has it! We love Justin Bieber. The kids know EVERY word to all of his songs that we own. They sing them, they dance to them. . .it is probably the thing that makes me laugh the hardest (seeing Dax be JB and hearing Gabby sing). Justin Bieber is the one thing we can all "relate" to. I love it. So, I have had this Friday night on our family calendar for a LONG time. . ."Never Say Never," the movie comes out and we cannot wait to go see it!
And then I ran across this (on Andy's blog, click on the word "this" to get there) and it made me so much more excited! Justin's mom has a "discussion guide" for the movie. It seems like it is a leaders' guide to the movie for Bible Study leaders of junior high girls. I LOVE THAT! So, for those of you out there leading a small group and feeling bored or lost or dry. . .go to Andy's blog and about 70% of the way to the bottom of the post is a "discussion guide" written by JB's mom that you can print!!!
THREE MORE DAYS!!!
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Dax & the Half Pipe
Andy just posted this picture on Twitter of Dax finishing up the half pipe! Wish I were at the mountain today (instead of at home cleaning and cooking for the Super Bowl party)!
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Happy Birthday, Tiki!
Oh two, oh three, oh four (02/03/04). That is Tiki's new official birthday which makes my boy seven today! He is so excited about his new birthday and he is even more excited that he gets to changes ages this time! Last summer (when we celebrated his birthday on the "old" date), we didn't have him change ages and he said to someone, "I am six again. I do not know why."
So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TIKI! You have been in our home for nearly 16 months and my how you have changed everything! You are the happiest child I have ever met and you are so optimistic about everything! All things are new and exciting and interesting to you and I know that I do a terrible job of letting your mind explore out loud. You're a super friend and a good little and big brother (most of the time). You are loving and sweet. You are eager to please, but starting to go heavy on the deceitful side these days. You're pushing your boundaries after a year, but in a way (small way), that makes me glad because I know that means you trust us and know that we aren't going anywhere!
I don't have any pictures of you from all of your ages and I missed MANY "firsts" in your life like our first step and your first loose tooth and your first word, but you and I have had MANY more "firsts" together just in the short time you have been my son! Here is to your first birthday in February and the first birthday where you are actually changing ages (I don't think they had birthday parties in Rwanda). Here is to your seventh year alive (although you are probably a couple of years older) and here is to many more years to come.
I love you, Tiki! Thank you for rocking my world and keeping me on my toes! Wow!
So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TIKI! You have been in our home for nearly 16 months and my how you have changed everything! You are the happiest child I have ever met and you are so optimistic about everything! All things are new and exciting and interesting to you and I know that I do a terrible job of letting your mind explore out loud. You're a super friend and a good little and big brother (most of the time). You are loving and sweet. You are eager to please, but starting to go heavy on the deceitful side these days. You're pushing your boundaries after a year, but in a way (small way), that makes me glad because I know that means you trust us and know that we aren't going anywhere!
I don't have any pictures of you from all of your ages and I missed MANY "firsts" in your life like our first step and your first loose tooth and your first word, but you and I have had MANY more "firsts" together just in the short time you have been my son! Here is to your first birthday in February and the first birthday where you are actually changing ages (I don't think they had birthday parties in Rwanda). Here is to your seventh year alive (although you are probably a couple of years older) and here is to many more years to come.
 |
| The first time you got to leave the orphanage with me. |
 |
| The first time you saw snow! |
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| Your first bubble bath. |
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| Your first time on a boogie board. |
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| Your first summer at Kivu. |
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| Your first hike (Bridal Veil Falls in Telluride). |
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| Your first time on a bungee tramp. |
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Did It Myself
So, I'm not very crafty and I seem to be getting less and less crafty as the years go by (I'll blame it on the five kids). However, I made this!!! I am so excited!
Maggie has been nominated for Junior Snow Queen for the Snowdown Festivities in Durango this weekend and she has a pagent/interviews (or something) tomorrow afternoon that will determine who is the Snowdown Junior King and Queen. Well, there is NO shopping in Durango and we're on a pretty tight budget right now, so I didn't really want to spend money on a new outfit. So, she is wearing her big puffy red tule skirt that she has had for years and then I made her this shirt to match! I saw it in some catalog (probably Chasing Fireflies) and it was $68 and I thought, "I can make that." Well, the shirt I saw had the entire heart filled in. . .with a pink row or two. . .and that was my plan. . .until just the outline took over two hours. . .glad I didn't start in the middle (and, Gabby won't be getting a matching one either).
Hopefully it wears well. . .if so, she'll be wearing it to Snowdown and her class Valentine's Day party and her talent show later in the month! I'll keep you posted!
Maggie has been nominated for Junior Snow Queen for the Snowdown Festivities in Durango this weekend and she has a pagent/interviews (or something) tomorrow afternoon that will determine who is the Snowdown Junior King and Queen. Well, there is NO shopping in Durango and we're on a pretty tight budget right now, so I didn't really want to spend money on a new outfit. So, she is wearing her big puffy red tule skirt that she has had for years and then I made her this shirt to match! I saw it in some catalog (probably Chasing Fireflies) and it was $68 and I thought, "I can make that." Well, the shirt I saw had the entire heart filled in. . .with a pink row or two. . .and that was my plan. . .until just the outline took over two hours. . .glad I didn't start in the middle (and, Gabby won't be getting a matching one either).
Hopefully it wears well. . .if so, she'll be wearing it to Snowdown and her class Valentine's Day party and her talent show later in the month! I'll keep you posted!
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Soul Food
Oh (said quietly with a big relieved sigh). Tonight was so much more than I knew I needed. Last week a girl that I sort of knew through our adoption fellowship group invited me to a Bible Study. And against all of my insecurities about going to a strangers house to spend the evening with a bunch of other strangers who all knew each other, I went. My spiritual journey has been SO DRY here in Colorado and I was so desperate that I put aside my insecurities and just went. . .I actually almost ran. I was desperate for the fellowship and for the teaching (it is a Beth Moore study and I already knew that I get tons out of her studies).
So, on top of the refreshingness (is that a word? I don't think so.) of having girl time and a Bible study, the icing was that the study just made sense. It hit home. It struck a cord. The clouds parted and the angels sang down. However you want to say it. . . . It was so what I needed to hear!
And here is some of what I learned:
From my distress, I called up on the Lord;
the Lord answered me and set me free.
The Lord is for me; I will not fear;
what can man do to me?
Psalm 118:5-6
It is better to take refuge in the Lord
Than to trust in man.
Psalm 118:8
Verses I have heard a zillion times. Right? Right. But tonight, here is what God spoke to me through those verses I have read before. I don't usually consider myself a person in bondage. When I hear people talking about needing to be free, I don't usually count myself in that group, but Beth Moore said something to the effect that fear (among other things she listed) can be an addiction and therefore bondage. I don't really feel "addicted" to fear per say. . .I don't feel like I have to have fear to survive, but lately fear has been apart of my life like an addiction. Not typical fear like the house burning down or the car crashing or a crazy person with a gun going into my children's schools but the fear of not being good enough the fear of loosing Andy emotionally the fear of not measuring up the fear of. . .you name it. I have been struggling with FEAR!
So back to verses five and six. I am in distress right now in my situation and I need to call up on the Lord. . .I need to CALL UPON HIM! His answer to me will be to set me free! Free from what? Free from fear! Why fear all of those things (and more) that I listed above and why fear man (Andy? Friends? Family? Whoever.) and how badly "man" can hurt me or how many times "man" can reject me? I can be set free from my fear because God is for me. The Lord, "I AM," is for me, so why do I fear?
Then Beth Moore went on to talk about how we get satisfied in our "stronghold management." I feel satisfied with the fact that I seem to be able to "manage" my stronghold (fear) on my own. I am satisfied that my fear isn't gone, but I am managing it on my own. Almost like I am physically holding it at bay. . .and sometimes I become prideful in my "ability" to hold my fear at bay. But then something comes up (like maybe my kids annoying me) and I have to take my hands off of my "managed" fear in order to "handle" this new problem and then the small and "managed" fear becomes this huge giant because my hands let go. I'm not sure, as I am typing, if that makes sense outside of the study, but that really hit home to me.
If I am just managing my fear, then I am not living an abundant life. I am just living "as is." I truly can live abundantly in freedom, but sometimes I allow myself to become satisfied with the "as is," with the "management" of fear instead of the freedom from it. I need to not be satisfied with "as good as it gets" but I need to want to live abundantly!
I will not die, but live,
And proclaim the works of the Lord.
Psalm 118:17
This is the Lord's doing
It is marvelous in our eyes.
Psalm 118:23
When I finally get on the other side of this pain and this fear and this bondage, then I will be able to proclaim what the Lord has done. It is a PROCESS. Healing is a PROCESS and it is a process that develops intimacy with the Lord. But on the other side of this, God is going to get all of the glory! I can't wait!
I need to have (and allow myself to have) joy unspeakable. "Rejoice" means "spinning around joy." I will be able to proclaim that my freedom is the Lord's doing!
Make me hear joy and gladness,
let the bones which you have broken rejoice.
Psalm 51:8
So, all of that. . .the fellowship and the new friends and the GOOD NEWS. I am totally amazed by the fact that I left that study feeling better than I have felt in months. I know that it is a process, but I feel like I am on the road to freedom that I didn't even realize I needed! I will be free from fear and therefore I will be able to trust, I will be able to like myself, I will be able to hold things and relationships loosely, and on and on. I feel like it is dawn and the light is coming. I will be free and the Lord will get the glory!
Tonight was SOUL FOOD! Food my soul needed! (Thank you, Leslie, for inviting me!)
So, on top of the refreshingness (is that a word? I don't think so.) of having girl time and a Bible study, the icing was that the study just made sense. It hit home. It struck a cord. The clouds parted and the angels sang down. However you want to say it. . . . It was so what I needed to hear!
And here is some of what I learned:
From my distress, I called up on the Lord;
the Lord answered me and set me free.
The Lord is for me; I will not fear;
what can man do to me?
Psalm 118:5-6
It is better to take refuge in the Lord
Than to trust in man.
Psalm 118:8
Verses I have heard a zillion times. Right? Right. But tonight, here is what God spoke to me through those verses I have read before. I don't usually consider myself a person in bondage. When I hear people talking about needing to be free, I don't usually count myself in that group, but Beth Moore said something to the effect that fear (among other things she listed) can be an addiction and therefore bondage. I don't really feel "addicted" to fear per say. . .I don't feel like I have to have fear to survive, but lately fear has been apart of my life like an addiction. Not typical fear like the house burning down or the car crashing or a crazy person with a gun going into my children's schools but the fear of not being good enough the fear of loosing Andy emotionally the fear of not measuring up the fear of. . .you name it. I have been struggling with FEAR!
So back to verses five and six. I am in distress right now in my situation and I need to call up on the Lord. . .I need to CALL UPON HIM! His answer to me will be to set me free! Free from what? Free from fear! Why fear all of those things (and more) that I listed above and why fear man (Andy? Friends? Family? Whoever.) and how badly "man" can hurt me or how many times "man" can reject me? I can be set free from my fear because God is for me. The Lord, "I AM," is for me, so why do I fear?
Then Beth Moore went on to talk about how we get satisfied in our "stronghold management." I feel satisfied with the fact that I seem to be able to "manage" my stronghold (fear) on my own. I am satisfied that my fear isn't gone, but I am managing it on my own. Almost like I am physically holding it at bay. . .and sometimes I become prideful in my "ability" to hold my fear at bay. But then something comes up (like maybe my kids annoying me) and I have to take my hands off of my "managed" fear in order to "handle" this new problem and then the small and "managed" fear becomes this huge giant because my hands let go. I'm not sure, as I am typing, if that makes sense outside of the study, but that really hit home to me.
If I am just managing my fear, then I am not living an abundant life. I am just living "as is." I truly can live abundantly in freedom, but sometimes I allow myself to become satisfied with the "as is," with the "management" of fear instead of the freedom from it. I need to not be satisfied with "as good as it gets" but I need to want to live abundantly!
I will not die, but live,
And proclaim the works of the Lord.
Psalm 118:17
This is the Lord's doing
It is marvelous in our eyes.
Psalm 118:23
When I finally get on the other side of this pain and this fear and this bondage, then I will be able to proclaim what the Lord has done. It is a PROCESS. Healing is a PROCESS and it is a process that develops intimacy with the Lord. But on the other side of this, God is going to get all of the glory! I can't wait!
I need to have (and allow myself to have) joy unspeakable. "Rejoice" means "spinning around joy." I will be able to proclaim that my freedom is the Lord's doing!
Make me hear joy and gladness,
let the bones which you have broken rejoice.
Psalm 51:8
So, all of that. . .the fellowship and the new friends and the GOOD NEWS. I am totally amazed by the fact that I left that study feeling better than I have felt in months. I know that it is a process, but I feel like I am on the road to freedom that I didn't even realize I needed! I will be free from fear and therefore I will be able to trust, I will be able to like myself, I will be able to hold things and relationships loosely, and on and on. I feel like it is dawn and the light is coming. I will be free and the Lord will get the glory!
Tonight was SOUL FOOD! Food my soul needed! (Thank you, Leslie, for inviting me!)
Happy February!!!
It's February. Part of me cannot believe that it is already February; however, Cabo seems like a lifetime ago, so it seems like February should be here!
It is definitely starting out with a crazy bang this first week, but then it will slow down some! We have Tiki's birthday this week and "Snow Downs" which is basically Durango's Mardi Gras from what I hear. Maggie has been nominated for Junior Snow Queen and Hays has a snowboarding competition and a pasta dinner fund raiser before the parade. Crazy week. Stay tuned for stories and pictures!
Andy will be traveling to the Southeast later this month (he'll be spending Valentine's night with a group of teens from Orlando and then with my brother and sister-in-law as a matter of fact). I have made sure that he is home on the weekends to spend time with the kids and with me. I have definitely become a HUGE fan of our family days on the mountain!
And then the last weekend of the month I have a HUGE surprise for the kids! I cannot wait and I hope I don't blow the surprise part because I tend to do that when I am very excited about something!
So, here's to February!!!
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