Friday, July 31, 2009
Act of Adoption
Well, apparently, we have to "officially" accept our referral. My POA didn't know that. So, we have officially accepted our referral and now we are going to work on getting our Act of Adoption from the Ministry. We are slowing rolling again and prayerfully we can get a court date that Andy can attend! Thanks for the prayers! Keep them coming!
Thursday, July 30, 2009
AWAA Is My Super Hero
Well, Ryan & Nyanja from America World Adoption are swooping in to save the day (hopefully)! For those of you just thinking about adoption, please consider America World Adoption Agency (www.awaa.org). They are so wonderful and they are being so good to me! We were their pilot family for Rwanda and they are coming through in my pinch. Nyanja, their contact in Kigali, is trying to work with Ruk's orphanage to get him a court date so that when Andy heads to Rwanda in a couple of weeks, he can represent our family in court.
That means he will meet Ruk first and then I'll probably head back over there to pick him up. This isn't the timing I had hoped for, but at least it is working out. And it is good because Andy can be a big part of the adoption and meet our boy and then I can go get him like I dreamed of doing! (And prayerfully I can figure it out with Hays and Maggie's school that they can come, too!!!) Again, I am trying not to mentally make any plans just in case things take yet another turn (I do have Cabo for Christmas plane tickets purchased though). We'll see.
I know that Ruk will be here eventually, but like I was trying to explain to Andy yesterday. . .it is just hard for a mother's heart to know that her baby is in another country without her love. He is over there and there is nothing that I can do. . .except pray and that is just a tough one for a control freak to handle! :)
Along other lines, Jake Armerding is here at KCO for a concert. He is a great guy and he plays all kinds of music! He has a new collection of hymns and psalms called "Songs in Stained Glass" available (for free download) at noisetrade.com/jakearmerding. His other albums range from pop to folk. . .a little something for everyone!!! Go to www.jakearmerding.com or iTunes to check him out!!!
That means he will meet Ruk first and then I'll probably head back over there to pick him up. This isn't the timing I had hoped for, but at least it is working out. And it is good because Andy can be a big part of the adoption and meet our boy and then I can go get him like I dreamed of doing! (And prayerfully I can figure it out with Hays and Maggie's school that they can come, too!!!) Again, I am trying not to mentally make any plans just in case things take yet another turn (I do have Cabo for Christmas plane tickets purchased though). We'll see.
I know that Ruk will be here eventually, but like I was trying to explain to Andy yesterday. . .it is just hard for a mother's heart to know that her baby is in another country without her love. He is over there and there is nothing that I can do. . .except pray and that is just a tough one for a control freak to handle! :)
Along other lines, Jake Armerding is here at KCO for a concert. He is a great guy and he plays all kinds of music! He has a new collection of hymns and psalms called "Songs in Stained Glass" available (for free download) at noisetrade.com/jakearmerding. His other albums range from pop to folk. . .a little something for everyone!!! Go to www.jakearmerding.com or iTunes to check him out!!!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Another Emotional Punch In The Gut
Well, I think my POA is out. I think he's finished with the process. I think he is too busy with other commitments and I think he is too overwhelmed with what is next. After a good cry under a tree in the woods while it was raining and then a nap in my bathroom closet (so that no children could find me), I'm feeling better. Andy will be in Rwanda in three weeks and maybe he can make something happen for us! I think I'll know tomorrow. I emailed my POA one more time asking for a little more information and once I hear back from him, I think I'll have some further insight. I'm sad. I feel defeated. But I know that somewhere (somehow) there is a bigger plan. I cannot wait to see what it is!!!!!
Another Excerpt
I'm really enjoying blogging about this book I am reading because it is giving me something to blog about. I'm so anxious about Ruk and the nothingness that is going on with our adoption and I am thankful that I have this to write about.
These paragraphs come from chapter 5, "Settling In."
Sleep is something we all need and something that most of us can't get enough of during the initial adjustment. Yet, sleeping is one area in which virtually all children experience difficulties, in on way or another. It may be hard for us to believe that our children are not as exhausted as we are. In fact, they probably are, but that doesn't mean sleep will come easily to them. Falling asleep is one of the most difficult things for newly adopted kids to do for many reasons. Foremost is probably the fact that when they fall asleep they can no longer be vigilant about their safety and what's going on in the house.
'Vigilant' describes almost every newly adopted child. Even when they appear relaxed, these kids undoubtedly know where everyone int he household is, what they are doing, and how it affects them. Think back to a time when you were truly frightened. Perhaps you awoke one night to a strange sound in your house. Can you remember the feeling of uneasiness? Do you remember how each sound echoed through your brain, and every movement seemed exaggerated? Was your heart pounding and the hair on your arms standing on end? That is vigilance. A rush of adrenaline caused by fear activates this 'fight or flight' response, which prepares your body to protect itself by either fighting the danger or fleeing from it.
Your child is no doubt experiencing this sensation. You may notice that loud noises or sudden movement easily startle her. Or perhaps she gets anxious when there is a lot of noise and activity. One obvious sign of vigilance, though, will probably be a resistance to bedtime.
Your child knows that if he falls asleep, he no longer has any control over what happens to him. . . . Children know that being asleep makes them more vulnerable.
These paragraphs come from chapter 5, "Settling In."
Sleep is something we all need and something that most of us can't get enough of during the initial adjustment. Yet, sleeping is one area in which virtually all children experience difficulties, in on way or another. It may be hard for us to believe that our children are not as exhausted as we are. In fact, they probably are, but that doesn't mean sleep will come easily to them. Falling asleep is one of the most difficult things for newly adopted kids to do for many reasons. Foremost is probably the fact that when they fall asleep they can no longer be vigilant about their safety and what's going on in the house.
'Vigilant' describes almost every newly adopted child. Even when they appear relaxed, these kids undoubtedly know where everyone int he household is, what they are doing, and how it affects them. Think back to a time when you were truly frightened. Perhaps you awoke one night to a strange sound in your house. Can you remember the feeling of uneasiness? Do you remember how each sound echoed through your brain, and every movement seemed exaggerated? Was your heart pounding and the hair on your arms standing on end? That is vigilance. A rush of adrenaline caused by fear activates this 'fight or flight' response, which prepares your body to protect itself by either fighting the danger or fleeing from it.
Your child is no doubt experiencing this sensation. You may notice that loud noises or sudden movement easily startle her. Or perhaps she gets anxious when there is a lot of noise and activity. One obvious sign of vigilance, though, will probably be a resistance to bedtime.
Your child knows that if he falls asleep, he no longer has any control over what happens to him. . . . Children know that being asleep makes them more vulnerable.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
More From "Our Own"
More from the book I am reading "Our Own: Adopting and Parenting the Older Child." I don't know if I agree 100% with all of this excerpt, but it is just comforting for me for some reason. Probably feeling the freedom to possibly not being overwhelmed by love at the beginning. I think I will be, but I often fear I won't be. . . .
For some parents, the initial adjustment period does not result in a loving attachment.
Experienced parents say that you must distinguish loving from liking and commitment. Most parents will tell you that love takes time. You may be committed to your child for months or even years before you truly love him. If your child hesitates to attach to you, you may find yourself holding back, too. But even if everything is progressing normally, love takes time, and a year or more is not that unusual.
Many experienced parents point our that you don't have to love a child to parent him. Parenting is about commitment and support. If you can concentrate on being a 'good enough' parent instead of a perfect one, you may be able to have a fulfilling relationship with your child even in the absence of strong love.
Sometimes parents have to change their definition of what love is. This may be especially true for people who have never been parents before or for those who always felt an instant connection to their other children. Some parents find that acting loving towards their children can jump-start those feelings. Parents point out that real love is shown in what a parent does, rather than what they feel.
. . . . Perhaps you are holding back because of the fear that your child will not really love you. . . .
For some parents, the initial adjustment period does not result in a loving attachment.
Experienced parents say that you must distinguish loving from liking and commitment. Most parents will tell you that love takes time. You may be committed to your child for months or even years before you truly love him. If your child hesitates to attach to you, you may find yourself holding back, too. But even if everything is progressing normally, love takes time, and a year or more is not that unusual.
Many experienced parents point our that you don't have to love a child to parent him. Parenting is about commitment and support. If you can concentrate on being a 'good enough' parent instead of a perfect one, you may be able to have a fulfilling relationship with your child even in the absence of strong love.
Sometimes parents have to change their definition of what love is. This may be especially true for people who have never been parents before or for those who always felt an instant connection to their other children. Some parents find that acting loving towards their children can jump-start those feelings. Parents point out that real love is shown in what a parent does, rather than what they feel.
. . . . Perhaps you are holding back because of the fear that your child will not really love you. . . .
Monday, July 27, 2009
No News & Stuff
About the adoption: no news. . .or, really, news of my POA being a little confused on the process. I have been wondering why it has taken so long to get a court date, so I contacted America World and their contact in Rwanda contacted my POA and (as it turns out), he has been very confused about the process and that is why not a single thing has happened. On one hand, this is VERY frustrating because I really want my boy home. On the other hand, this is adoption and this is how it works. . .frustrations on top of frustrations. . .which will be SO WORTH IT in the end! I would love for a court miracle to work out because I am wanting to take Hays and Maggie with me to Rwanda to get him. One of my staff girls said she would stay with Dax and Gabby. . .what a blessing! Then I could NOT enroll Hays and Maggie in their new school until AFTER Rwanda. I was so excited about that! We'll see.
In the meantime. . .I have been reading this GREAT adoption book called "Our Own: Adopting and Parenting the Older Child." (It is the book that gave me the idea for the size of your sibling ribbons---speaking of which. . .Becca hasn't been able to give Ruk his gifts. . .another long story.) I really wish I would have read this book BEFORE we got Gabby! It says "older children," but I have been SO VERY surprised at how many things apply to Gabby and she was six months old when I got her. CRAZY! So, over the next few days, I'm going to be sharing parts of this book that I have found interesting (and parts that I want to be able to remember). Today's tid-bit will be short and sweet (emphasis mine):
Having reasonable expectations helps. . . . Choose your battles wisely.
Choosing your battles wisely is good advice for all parents, but especially those who adopt older children. There is no way you will be able to change everything you dislike about your son, nor would you want to. Don't we all want other to accept us as we are? You will likely learn as much about yourself in the first few months after adoption as you will about your child. You will find our what is really important to you and what you can let go. Remember that this is a time of immense change for your whole family. GIVE YOURSELF AND YOUR FAMILY A BREAK.
In the meantime. . .I have been reading this GREAT adoption book called "Our Own: Adopting and Parenting the Older Child." (It is the book that gave me the idea for the size of your sibling ribbons---speaking of which. . .Becca hasn't been able to give Ruk his gifts. . .another long story.) I really wish I would have read this book BEFORE we got Gabby! It says "older children," but I have been SO VERY surprised at how many things apply to Gabby and she was six months old when I got her. CRAZY! So, over the next few days, I'm going to be sharing parts of this book that I have found interesting (and parts that I want to be able to remember). Today's tid-bit will be short and sweet (emphasis mine):
Having reasonable expectations helps. . . . Choose your battles wisely.
Choosing your battles wisely is good advice for all parents, but especially those who adopt older children. There is no way you will be able to change everything you dislike about your son, nor would you want to. Don't we all want other to accept us as we are? You will likely learn as much about yourself in the first few months after adoption as you will about your child. You will find our what is really important to you and what you can let go. Remember that this is a time of immense change for your whole family. GIVE YOURSELF AND YOUR FAMILY A BREAK.
Monday, July 20, 2009
WONDERFUL Sermon At James River Yesterday!!!
Pastor John did a super sermon yesterday and I wish I could have heard it in person! Please take time to listen to it at some point. He is going through James now (he picks a book and goes through it verse by verse and it takes about four years with every book--amazing). He hit on just the first part of James 1:27 today and it was super. Everyone should hear it. . .adoptive parents and everyone!
Click on the link below to listen!!!
James River Assembly • Messages
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Sunday, July 19, 2009
The Flu
Well, we've had the flu here at KCO. It has been a crazy last week, but all of the kampers from last term are home and we have a new healthy (as of now) bunch. One of the parents gave me a plush/stuffed flu germ. . .we gave her son the flu, so she wanted to return the favor. He is so cute! This picture does not do him justice. Anyway, I just wanted to share a picture of the flu I got! :)
Also, this week should be news of something. Becca is in Rwanda and she will be seeing Tim (my POA). Hopefully she'll get the chance to meet Jean de Dieu and prayerfully go to court on behalf of me and get this adoption rolling! We'll see!
Also, this week should be news of something. Becca is in Rwanda and she will be seeing Tim (my POA). Hopefully she'll get the chance to meet Jean de Dieu and prayerfully go to court on behalf of me and get this adoption rolling! We'll see!
Thursday, July 16, 2009
News Of Not Too Much
Well, I don't have any adoption news to share. I found out that my POA is in the process of burring a family member--they found the remains of this person from the genocide just last week. So, we can pray for them as they have to re-heal a new yet old wound.
The Nimrod family (click on their name to follow thier journey) is headed to Rwanda today. Becca will be taking that care package to Jean de Dieu. I cannot wait to hear all about my boy!!! Prayerfully she can see him soon and prayerfully she'll have a super translator!
Hays and Maggie left for kamp in Branson. I know they are so excited, but I was SO sad to see them go!!!
Chaco, my sweet kind of crazy dog, got porcupined in the face last night. So sad. I had to pull out all of the needles. I wish I would have thought to take a picture.
That's it from Party of 7.
The Nimrod family (click on their name to follow thier journey) is headed to Rwanda today. Becca will be taking that care package to Jean de Dieu. I cannot wait to hear all about my boy!!! Prayerfully she can see him soon and prayerfully she'll have a super translator!
Hays and Maggie left for kamp in Branson. I know they are so excited, but I was SO sad to see them go!!!
Chaco, my sweet kind of crazy dog, got porcupined in the face last night. So sad. I had to pull out all of the needles. I wish I would have thought to take a picture.
That's it from Party of 7.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Durango. . .It's Official!!!
The Braners are now land ownders in Durango, Colorado! Yesterday we bought a lot in Edgemont Highlands and we are SO excited! It is just a lot. . .we can picnic there, but we are land owners. We're still praying that our home in Branson will sell soon so that we can build a house on our lot or buy the house next door to our lot. But step one has been taken. I hope that the Durango school district thinks that a lot is enough to enroll. . .for some reason, I don't think it will be. Oh well. We have a lot! :)
Friday, July 10, 2009
AnNi Designs
We are 100% up to date and our new summer line is ready to be sold! We are supporting three wonderful families: The Spores (Rwanda), the Robinsons (Ethiopia) and the Braners!!! Go check out (and buy) shirts from AnNi and help all of us bring home our children!!!
AnNi Designs (just click and go!!!)
AnNi Designs (just click and go!!!)
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Fun Night Out & New Rwanda Shirts
Last night Andy and I went to dinner with Andrew & Jan Schill. . .some of our new Durango friends! We had a blast!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also, AnNi Designs (www.annidesigns.com) has new colors of Rwanda shirts available! Help us bring Jean de Dieu home but purchasing a shirt at AnNi Designs! (And please become a fan of AnNi Designs on Facebook!)
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Care Package For Our Boy
I am sending a care package to Ruk (that is what I'm calling him for now. . .his "last" name is Rukara and saying "Ruk" is so much easier than Jean de Dieu). My dear friend, Becca, is heading to Rwanda next week and she is taking a care package to my boy!!! (She agreed to taking a small photo album, but I'm afraid the package is more than just that--sorry, Becca!)
I made him a fun scrapbook. I put pictures of him in it. I put family pictures in it and a "layout" of each one of his siblings. I gave him birthdays and birth places so that he could see different things about our crazy family: he can see that he shares a birth month with Maggie and that he shares a birth country with Gabby. I wanted him to see that we were born in all different places (Georgia, Missouri, Colorado and Rwanda). I put in several words in both English and Kinyarwanda such as family, ice cream, rice, many of the colors and the days of the week.
My favorite thing I sent is four ribbons. I cut a ribbon to each one of my kids' height so that he could see how tall his siblings are. I thought this may be helpful as he wonders about these crazy people coming to get him! :)
I sent him a Build A Bear. . .I have been wanting to do this since 2005. All of my kids have matching bears that they all got as infants. When we started the China process, I dreamed of sending our little China baby her Build A Bear and now I get to do it. . .I get to send my dear boy his bear. Corny, I know, but something I've been dreaming of. Thank you, Kelly, for making Ruk's bear and kissing the heart before it got sewn in!!!!
I'm also sending 2 disposable cameras (thank you, Melissa for getting those) so that he can take pictures of his life and of his friends and whatever he wants to take pictures of. I cannot wait to develop those pictures when he finally comes home and put them in his scrapbook!!!
So, Becca, it is more than a scrapbook, but I didn't think you'd mind too much! I also sent your POA letter, too, so that you could see him on our behalf!!!
Prayerfully Becca can have a good translator as she tells him about his gifts and about his new family. I cannot wait to hear all about him. Our POA is not one for mushy details, so I am praying that Becca can send me some. I want to know the following things (just for starters):
1. What did he do when he found out he was getting adopted? What are his thoughts? I would really love ALL of the details from that conversation!!!
2. What is he like?
3. What size clothes does he wear?
4. What is his favorite thing to do?
5. Does he speak any English?
6. Is he excited about being adopted? Scared? Unwilling?
7. What is his history? I just know that he has been in the orphanage since he was an infant.
8. Does he have siblings in the orphanage? (If so, they need to be coming home with us, too!!!!!)
So, I'm just emotionally pacing. I cannot wait to go get him! I pray that he is a cuddler. . .I'm just dying to cuddle my little guy. No worries, though. . .I've been reading enough adopting older children books to know that it may or may not be a cuddly walk in the park!
I'm dying to know when his court date is. I really want to go get him NOW!!! I really don't want to wait for Andy to go at the end of August. We'll see! I'll keep you posted with actual dates and details when I get them. Crazy!
I made him a fun scrapbook. I put pictures of him in it. I put family pictures in it and a "layout" of each one of his siblings. I gave him birthdays and birth places so that he could see different things about our crazy family: he can see that he shares a birth month with Maggie and that he shares a birth country with Gabby. I wanted him to see that we were born in all different places (Georgia, Missouri, Colorado and Rwanda). I put in several words in both English and Kinyarwanda such as family, ice cream, rice, many of the colors and the days of the week.
My favorite thing I sent is four ribbons. I cut a ribbon to each one of my kids' height so that he could see how tall his siblings are. I thought this may be helpful as he wonders about these crazy people coming to get him! :)
I sent him a Build A Bear. . .I have been wanting to do this since 2005. All of my kids have matching bears that they all got as infants. When we started the China process, I dreamed of sending our little China baby her Build A Bear and now I get to do it. . .I get to send my dear boy his bear. Corny, I know, but something I've been dreaming of. Thank you, Kelly, for making Ruk's bear and kissing the heart before it got sewn in!!!!
I'm also sending 2 disposable cameras (thank you, Melissa for getting those) so that he can take pictures of his life and of his friends and whatever he wants to take pictures of. I cannot wait to develop those pictures when he finally comes home and put them in his scrapbook!!!
So, Becca, it is more than a scrapbook, but I didn't think you'd mind too much! I also sent your POA letter, too, so that you could see him on our behalf!!!
Prayerfully Becca can have a good translator as she tells him about his gifts and about his new family. I cannot wait to hear all about him. Our POA is not one for mushy details, so I am praying that Becca can send me some. I want to know the following things (just for starters):
1. What did he do when he found out he was getting adopted? What are his thoughts? I would really love ALL of the details from that conversation!!!
2. What is he like?
3. What size clothes does he wear?
4. What is his favorite thing to do?
5. Does he speak any English?
6. Is he excited about being adopted? Scared? Unwilling?
7. What is his history? I just know that he has been in the orphanage since he was an infant.
8. Does he have siblings in the orphanage? (If so, they need to be coming home with us, too!!!!!)
So, I'm just emotionally pacing. I cannot wait to go get him! I pray that he is a cuddler. . .I'm just dying to cuddle my little guy. No worries, though. . .I've been reading enough adopting older children books to know that it may or may not be a cuddly walk in the park!
I'm dying to know when his court date is. I really want to go get him NOW!!! I really don't want to wait for Andy to go at the end of August. We'll see! I'll keep you posted with actual dates and details when I get them. Crazy!
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Friday, July 3, 2009
Fun Days With Great Friends
The Pierson Family has been here for a week and we have been having a blast! Yesterday we went up to Ouray to play in the hot springs! Enjoy the pics!
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